Rispon Avenue

The kooky old neighbour just had to chat to me today when I went out to get my mail. Today’s fun round of awkward conversation revolved around her crazy conspiracy theories.

For instance, today she stopped me at my letterbox, and noticed that I had my cordless phone in the pocket of my dressing gown, because I was expecting a call. She then spent the next FIVE MINUTES without a word from me talking about the security differences in regular telephones and cordless telephones. Can you imagine how unlikely anyone out there who has the know-how would give a rats ass what this lady was saying over the phone? Enough to connect into the right frequency of her particular handset? I think she has a better chance of being struck by lightning than having someone that interested in what she is saying to other people on the phone.

I was so tempted to tell her that ‘The Panasonic KX are bugged by the government’ but I thought that wouldn’t be very nice, or fair to her mental health. She started going on again about how I should get call logging, did I get it yet? Well I should have it by now, what was I waiting for, we talked about it days ago… I told her flat out I wasn’t going to get it, I didn’t see the need. She just looked at me like I was a little crazy, and left it at that, though did drop hints about it, really, really obvious hints. She told me how cheap her call logging was because her telecoms companies knew that people really wanted call logging so they were dropping the price on it… I don’t think that’s true in any way, but anyway.

Goodness, I think I am going to get a robot to go out and collect the mail. This would work for two reasons, one, she probably wouldn’t talk to it, and two, if she did, it’s a heartless robot, she can’t fault it for not stopping to chat. :lol:

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Oh yes, my little old lady neighbour is an odd one. You’d not think it to look at her, but she is one of those who feels they absolutely must keep tabs on everything that happens in their street. As if anything at all could happen if they didn’t watch their neighbours all the time. It is rather horrid to talk to this neighbour, just because they are so obsessed with all this security stuff. But she caught me checking my mail, and she wanted to chat…

“Hi! Sure, things have been great! Oh, Mrs Peterman down the road has been ‘acting shifty’ has she? Oh well that’s… no good’ At this point, I just want to leave, but oh no, the neighbour had launched into an unceasing monologue about security measures they would like to take. Seriously, this lady wants to install CCTV in the neighbourhood. She said she’s been using ‘the internet to investigate CCTV systems‘.

I was so surprised that this woman had the internet, she must be at least 70 years old. She took my shock as a sign that I didn’t know enough about home security, and told me that I should have call recording, because ‘who knows whose calling these days’. I don’t believe any such thing, I don’t think I need such security measures. I mean, I do have a home security system, but I don’t think I need CCTV or whatnot. I do think larger companies need to consult with security companies, especially those handling sensitive data or equipment, but not every day folk like me! :D

After agreeing to investigate more stringent home security measures, I finally had an opportunity to get back into my house and the heck away from her. It’s like that joke Jim Gaffigan has about holidays ‘well gee, I really need to get a job’. The lady is nice, but goodness I wish she had a more wholesome hobby!

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